Blown-Out Pool Day Bonus!

Halfway through our 8 hour, 60+ beer pool day yesterday I had to head to the AMPM for some more beers.  While I was on the checkout line, I saw this little sumbitch starin' back at me from the toaster display.

The Jalapeño Cheddar Corn Dog.  A chicken frank with (apparently) jalapeño and cheddar flavor fried in corn batter.  I didn't get much flavor, but looking and feeling the way I did, I needed something to keep my sun-drinking marathon going.

Pretty blown-out.  Corndog re-energizing.

Drunk: 1/5

Patriotic Hot Dog Sacrilege

My coworker Rikki made some vegan dogs for our company 4th of July pool party blowout extravaganza.  After some coercion I threw one on a bun and took a bite.  It was like eating a fistful of bread.  Honestly, valiant effort, Rikki, but I need a little more.  So I did what any self-respecting carnivore would do...

And covered it with barbecue beef and yellow mustard.  It went down smoothly after that, though it was still a little bready.  Nice work on the beef, E!

Doggin': Pre-Beef 1/5, Post-Beef 3/5

BWDFHD²

Went to Monkey Pants to meet some friends.  After reading the New Times' ten favorites I had to try the BWDFHD.  Two franks, wrapped in bacon, deep fried, covered in cheese sauce.  Straight arterial homicide.  The way the dogs snap when bitten, the crisp greasiness of the bacon, the spice of the cheese sauce.  Halfway through the first one, I wasn't sure if I would be able to ride my bike home.  By the time I was finished, I thought for sure I wouldn't even make it out the door.  These little pups were so delicious that if the service wasn't so terrible, I would've probably ordered two more, then promptly keeled over and died.

It's a good thing I didn't order more.  Mostly because if I am going to die, I don't want it to be in a dive like Monkey Pants.  Also, because I would have missed out on this guy...

After sauteing some jalapeño, anaheim and cayenne chilis, I reduced the shit out of some monterey jack cheese and cream, mixed in the peppers, wrapped some Hebrews in thick-cut bacon, fried 'em up and laid it all on a cheap bun.  I think my version was a little better.  And I didn't have to wait for a lackadaisical topless bartender to not ring in my order after 45 minutes.  

I can't really complain about the Monkey Pants experience, though.  I ate two bacon-wrapped deep-fried hot dogs.  I'll probably even go back for more.  There is something about the corner of Mill & Southern that always results in me getting seriously drunk.  I think the whole plate was only around $6.  I can't really remember, because I was drinking.  I guess you'd have to be drunk to order that kind of garbage anyway.  Or just a hot dog enthusiast.

Dawg It! 4/5

The Sasquatch

Nothing says "You're on vacation" like two 1/4lb Hebrew National franks soaked in beer, grilled, soaked in more beer, basted with Tapatio and Sweet Baby Ray's then topped with cheddar cheese, onion rings, more Sweet Baby Ray's and served on jalapeno cheese bread.

After a night of drinking in Flagstaff, I whipped this sucker up on the grill in the middle of the woods.  It conquers all.  Big smoky flavor, buttermilk beer battered onion rings, melted sharp cheddar.  The toasted french roll could barely hold up to all the beer, beef, onion, cheese and flavor contained within.  Upon finishing this monster, I felt like I had just been kicked by a mule straight in the gut.  Nothing to do but drink more Grand Canyon Brewing Black Iron IPA and lay on the couch.

Can't nobody step to my dog grillin' skills.  Nobody.

Rating: 5/5

This Ain't My First Rodeo

Those of you that know me are aware that I am no stranger to the concept of a hot dog for breakfast.  I'll elaborate on my work on that in a few days.  My focus today, however, is on Back East Bagels' Bagel Dog.  A halfhearted attempt at bringing breakfast dogs to the masses.  This place is not my favorite bagel shop in the valley, but if I'm running errands in the area, I'll make a stop.  On my way to the hardware store one morning I found my stomach growling for more than the basic breakfast.  Almost as if my car was on autopilot, I found myself parked in front of their door.

The first thing I saw when I stepped inside was the bagel dog.  I wasted no time, ordered one with cheddar cheese, grabbed a New Times and a seat.  Before I knew it, I was biting into the be'bageled beast.  Starved, I was, but still I retained the good sense to make note of what I was eating.  The dog seemed like it was toasted, which was fine, the bagel bun was supple, soft and chewy and the cheese was melted.  I was starving, so it did the trick, but the flavors were pretty bland.  My biggest gripe on most hot dogs usually ends up being the bun.  The bagel dog certainly excelled in this category, but the toasted wiener and run of the mill cheddar cheese certainly left me pining for more topping options. 

I could complain about hunger no more, but I felt somewhat cheated.  $6 for what amounted to the most basic breakfast dog I've ever had?  Don't get me wrong, the bagel bun is phenomenal, but I found myself craving more.  Fried egg, veggies, bacon, anything.  I guess we all can't be breakfast dog masters after all.

Rating: 2/5